Let’s go back to the beginning… WHY would we give a newborn a dummy? It’s perfectly acceptable for your young child to use a dummy. For infants younger than four months old, they make great settling aids. In addition to offering immense solace to a newborn, they have the ability to lower the incidence of SIDS and can be an excellent means of assisting your child in learning to self-soothe without the assistance of Mom and Dad.
It’s not a problem… until it is.
The problems start when your infant starts to rely on a dummy to go from awake to sleep. It then becomes an external sleep association at that point. In essence, this becomes your baby’s go-to method for falling asleep. Since this becomes one of their go-to methods for falling asleep, they are forced to cry out for assistance in getting the dummy put back in when they reach the light phase of their sleep cycle and realise it is no longer in their mouth.
When we get to this point, we have a few different ways to tackle it –
- We decide to do rid of the dummy and help baby learn how to go to sleep on his or her own.
- In the hopes that kids would be able to pop it back in themselves, we decide not to take it away right away and to wait a few months.
- We agree that we will be content to keep entering to replace the dummy with ourselves.
Any of these choices is quite acceptable. We always encourage families we work with to think about getting rid of the dummy, but we never push them to do so.
Remember that even though your baby can solve their own sleeping problems, they still need to wake up in order to find the dummy (no matter how many you scatter in their cot!). If all of them have fallen or been thrown out, then we are back to where we started, with bub needing Mum or Dad to replace it for them. This is especially true if you decide to wait until your baby is old enough to replace it themselves, which is usually around 9 months.
The idea of getting rid of the dummy is always more terrifying than actually doing so. In my experience, it takes a baby one to three nights to get used to not having their dummy, but they acclimatise quickly.
I think that just doing it is the greatest approach to get rid of the dummy. There will be less misunderstanding and desire to reintroduce it if we remove it completely.
Here are some suggestions to help a baby under 18 months old get rid of it:
- Present a blanket. To make the transition easier, we suggest using a handkerchief-sized, lightweight, breathable comforter (if your kid is beyond 6 months old). We adore Aden and Anais’ blankets and the Kippins.
- Evaluate. Don’t feel pressured to abandon your sleep regimen if you have committed to it even though you don’t feel ready. The first night should be used as a “assessment” night. Consider delaying giving your infant the dummy for a minute or so, and then give it to them to see their reaction. It is safe to assume that if they take it right soon, they are depending on it to help them go asleep.
- It doesn’t need to be disposed of during daylight use. Don’t do it if the notion of eliminating it completely overwhelms you! Save it for road trips and, if necessary, for using as a shopping cart.
- Be aware that the first night and maybe the second will not be easy. Your infant is undergoing a transition and will probably fight this change. There isn’t really a “normal” amount of time that a newborn needs to acclimatise to these changes. They are clean, nourished, and exhausted because we have provided for all of their needs. They no longer have what they WANT, but soon they will have a much greater NEED: undisturbed sleep.
- The night you decide to get rid of the dummy, choose an approach that works for you and your family and get started. At The Sleep Dept., we employ a range of methods. We recommend a “Gradual Withdrawal” from your baby’s room as the most gentle option. In this manner, you are there to support your child during this difficult time and may provide them as much comfort as needed. A “Leave & Check” method could be helpful if your infant tends to become overstimulated when you are in the room. This entails giving your child comfort at scheduled periods. Make a choice and stick with it for a few solid days, whatever you end up choosing. The first three nights are when we see the biggest changes, so if you’ve tried everything and after three nights there’s still no progress, think about trying a different approach.
But what happens if your child is older than 18 months? That’s a whole other story, though. Your toddler will have developed a strong attachment to their dummy by this age, so we will need to gradually wean them off of it and be a little kinder to them. Consider the following advice before removing their dummy:
- Get your toddler ready. Routine and predictability are what babies thrive on. It might be too much to take it away from them suddenly.
- Ensure that all those engaged in your child’s life—parents, grandparents, and anyone else who might be caring for your child during this time—are in agreement.
- Toddlers simply like stories. If your child is old enough to comprehend, provide them with an enjoyable activity that will encourage them to part with their dummy. Some children choose to offer their dummies to the dummy fairy since there is a dummy tree in my neighbourhood. Use your imagination to entice them to give it up as much as they are able to. Engage them as much as you can; taking them to the toy store to select their new sleeping companion could be beneficial.
- Go slowly. When it’s being used for comfort rather than habit, I start taking it out. During the first few days as they ease into it, save it for sleep and car rides to give your toddler an opportunity to get used to not having it all the time. Choose a date and get rid of them all once they’ve become used to a few days like this.
- Make sure you are consistent, patient, and self-assured in your choice, and set reasonable expectations. You and your family have made the decision to part with the dummy for whatever reason. Keep in mind that you have prepared your youngster to understand what is happening.
